A Dollar for a Penny

Are you willing to trade your dollar in exchange for a penny? Then why would you exchange a beautiful relationship for quick cheap pleasures?

Addiction doesn’t just destroy your relationship with the God Almighty. It destroys every other beautiful relationship you have on earth as well: your significant other, children, parents, coworkers, and other members of the community. Perhaps you have been the victim of addiction, having witnessed a parent come home drunk and fly into a drunken rage. Or you have witnessed sexual addiction tear your parents’ marriage apart by way of pornography or adultery.

• About 43% of adults in the United States – 76 million Americans – have been exposed to alcoholism in the family. They grew up with or are married to an alcoholic, or they have a blood relative who is an alcoholic. (Alcoholism Statistics, 2013)
• Children of alcoholics are 8 times more likely to develop an addiction (Merikangas, Stolar, Stevens, Goulet et al., 1998)
• In a sample of 6,268 adults, adult offspring of parents with addiction were 50% more likely to develop depression than their peers (Fuller-Thomson, Katz, Phan, Liddycoat & Brennenstuhl, 2013)

What does addiction destroy?

– Intimacy
– Self-worth
-Brain cells
-Your soul
-Relationship with God
-Significant relationships in your life

Overcoming addiction often requires more than just a little help from friends and family. In order to achieve the satisfaction you want in life, you have to reach out and ask for help.

Jesus came to Earth so you could have life to the full (John 10:10).  Addiction holds you back from having that full life that God wants for you.  Sometimes addiction is a disease handed down through genetics; other times it’s induced by trauma, peer pressure or just personal choice.  If there’s anything in your life that is spinning out of control, or if close friends and family have expressed their concerns to you about certain habits or lifestyle choices you’ve made, it is time to consider: Would you rather have a dollar or a penny?

#Lifetothefull  #Addiction #Musings4Life #addictionholdsyouback

References

Merikangas, K. R., Stolar, M., Stevens, D. E., Goulet, J., et al., Familial transmission of substance use disorders. Arch Gen Psychiatry, 1998.55(11): p. 973-9.

Esme Fuller-Thomson, Robyn B. Katz, Vi T. Phan, Jessica P.M. Liddycoat, Sarah Brennenstuhl. The long arm of parental addictions: The association with adult children’s depression in a population-based study. Psychiatry Research, 2013; DOI:10.1016/j.psychres.2013.02.024

 

 

Believing Is Good for Your Brain

There’s a lot of talk about brain chemistry and how drug abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), fatherlessness, childhood abuse and other factors contribute to the change of the brain’s structure for the worse.  Although you may feel like you were set up for failure from the outset (i.e., being born into a family you didn’t ask for, experiencing unfortunate events that were out of your control, feeling like a victim of your circumstances, etc.), the good news is you can still turn things around.  It may be more difficult to change your habits and thinking now that you’re an adult, but it’s not too late to make the effort to reverse some of the effects on your brain’s structure and consequently brighten your future.  There is scientific evidence that believing in God effects positive changes on your brain:

braintorm

• Meditation and prayer thicken parts of your brain cortex, which protects against depression (Miller et al., 2013)

• Faith in God has significant positive impact on individuals suffering from psychiatric illnesses (Rosmarin, Bigda-Peyton, Kertz, Smith, Rauch & Björgvinsson, 2013)

• Thinking about God reduces stress. When you are thinking about God, brain activity decreases in the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) region of your brain (Inzlicht & Tullett., 2010)

Believing is more than a simple agreement that something is true.  It also entails action behind the thoughts.  For example, if you truly believed that the chair you’re sitting on has a time bomb taped underneath your seat, would you still be sitting there or would you get up and run as fast as you can?  Words are powerful – yes – but if you observe someone’s words versus his actions, you will see that his actions tell you far more about his beliefs than his claims.

Do you believe that you are more than a conqueror because God is on your side, or do you simply accept that God exists?  What does the outcome of your life say about your beliefs?

#YourBrainOnFaith  #Believe  #Faith  #Musings4Life

Journal Reference:

1. Lisa Miller, Ravi Bansal, Priya Wickramaratne, Xuejun Hao, Craig E. Tenke, Myrna M. Weissman, Bradley S. Peterson.Neuroanatomical Correlates of Religiosity and Spirituality. JAMA Psychiatry, 2013; 1 DOI: 1001/jamapsychiatry.2013.3067

2. David H. Rosmarin, Joseph S. Bigda-Peyton, Sarah J. Kertz, Nasya Smith, Scott L. Rauch, Thröstur Björgvinsson.A test of faith in God and treatment: The relationship of belief in God to psychiatric treatment outcomes. Journal of Affective Disorders, 2013; 146 (3): 441 DOI:1016/j.jad.2012.08.030

3. Michael Inzlicht, Alexa M. Tullett.Reflecting on God: Religious Primes Can Reduce Neurophysiological Response to Errors. Psychological Science, 2010; DOI: 1177/0956797610375451

Father to the Fatherless

Statistics that show the future outcome of children who grew up with no fathers are not encouraging:

• Children in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor. In 2011, 12 percent of children in married-couple families were living in poverty, compared to 44 percent of children in mother-only families.

Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Children’s Living Arrangements and Characteristics: March 2011, Table C8. Washington D.C.: 2011.

• Children living in female headed families with no spouse present had a poverty rate of 47.6 percent, over 4 times the rate in married-couple families.

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; ASEP Issue Brief: Information on Poverty and Income Statistics. September 12, 2012 http://aspe.hhs.gov/hsp/12/PovertyAndIncomeEst/ib.shtml

When a child grows up without a father, or with a father who is less than exemplary, this actually changes the child’s brain structure, and fatherlessness impacts daughters more than sons, according to research.  They grow up to be angrier, more aggressive, and more prone to substance abuse.  Unfortunately, researchers project that figures are rising by 20,000 a year, which isn’t getting any better at all.

You Can Reverse the Effects of Fatherlessness

If you put your trust in God, the one who created you and your biological father, the future holds hope for you.

“Your beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will your future be.”  Job 8:7

Who is God?  He is….
⁵ A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
⁶ God sets the lonely in families,^[c]
he leads out the prisoners with singing;
but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land

³⁵ You, God, are awesome in your sanctuary;
the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people.

— Psalm 68 (emphasis added)

³ Do not put your trust in princes,
in human beings, who cannot save.
⁴ When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
on that very day their plans come to nothing.
⁵ Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord their God.

⁶ He is the Maker of heaven and earth,
the sea, and everything in them—
he remains faithful forever.
⁷ He upholds the cause of the oppressed
and gives food to the hungry.
The Lord sets prisoners free,
⁸     the Lord gives sight to the blind,
the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down,
the Lord loves the righteous.
⁹ The Lord watches over the foreigner
and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.

Psalm 146 (emphasis added)

Even if you do have a father, it does not mean he will be a good influence in your life.  A closer examination of the scriptures will reveal that Jonathan had an interesting relationship with his father.  King David was his BFF, but Jonathan’s dad was against that.  His father said some very harsh words to Jonathan and even threatened to revoke his son’s right to be the next king (1 Samuel 20:30-31).  David had done nothing wrong to deserve this kind of treatment from Saul, yet Saul was determined to kill him out of jealousy.  Anyone who stood in the way – including his own flesh and blood – was treated with contempt and humiliation.

The scriptures also reveal that David was the youngest son of Jesse of Bethlehem.  He had a father, but who eventually saved David from Saul’s death grip?  God!  Also, David came from a poor family yet eventually God exalted him to royalty.  David’s courage and heart for God set him apart from other people, so much so that he has become one of the major heroes of our faith.

Your future belongs to God.  It is He alone who judges; only God can bring one person down and exalt another (Psalm 75:7; 1 Samuel 2:7).  You can reverse the effects of fatherlessness if you humble yourself before God and realize that He is all you need and everything you desire. 

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.”  James 4:10

“Whom have I in heaven but you?  And earth has nothing I desire besides you.”   Psalm 73:25

#KnowGod #HumbleYourself #Musings4Life #FathertotheFatherless #ChooseGod #TrustGod

Are You Missing Out?

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

“The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life,” Jesus said in John 10:10.

Have you ever felt like something is amiss with your life? People around you are moving forward and you seem to be…stuck. Yet the bible promises “life to the full” and “a future and a hope.” What’s gone wrong here?

Satan’s Role & Your Role

There are two possible explanations for why one’s life may be stuck in “neutral gear.” In the above-mentioned scripture, John 10:10, the thief is Satan, whose sole purpose is to steal from you and destroy your life as much as possible. Things happen beyond your control and you have no idea how they happened. These misfortunes have the potential to crush your spirit and break your heart, but you can choose to respond by praying and casting your anxieties upon God who cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).

“A person’s own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart rages against the Lord.” Proverbs 19:3

The other factor is the role you play. There are tons of scriptures about obedience if you want to look them up. The point I’m trying to make here is the need to own up to your behavior and folly (a.k.a. sins) and taking the steps to make amends with God and with others. Confess, repent, and move forward. Don’t blame everything on Satan. If you are not aware of the wrongs you commit (which can happen sometimes — there are even scriptures about unintentional sin), pray, pray, pray! God will surely reveal it to you and He will bless your repentance as well.

In essence, trust God with misfortunes out of your control, and love God by living a life worthy of the gospel.

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” Psalm 84:11

#DontMissOut #GodsPlansForYou #NeverGiveUp #Musings4Life

Good Enough

The next time you’re not feeling good enough for any reason, think about and meditate on what the scriptures say about you:

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.” Psalm 138:8

“Do not be afraid, for you are highly esteemed,” he said. “Peace! Be strong now; be strong.” When he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said, “Speak, my Lord, since you have given me strength.” Daniel 10:19

“Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.” Isaiah 43:4

In humanistic terms, the value of an object is determined by the price someone is willing to pay for it.  Justin Gignac, cofounder of Working Not Working, demonstrates this idea in his business experiment.  Take a “worthless” piece of crap, for instance, and raise the value of it by setting an expensive price tag on it and see how many people will buy it.  “This is, in essence, what luxury brands do, because it works,” said Gignac.  Human value, of course, is not determined by another human being but it’s determined by the Creator who made us.  In spiritual terms, when God created you, you were already valuable from the moment you were conceived.  In fact, He thought of you long before anyone did:

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139 (emphasis added)

After the Fall in the Garden of Eden, God had to do something to save His people from eternal damnation.  Your soul is so valuable that God was willing to sacrifice his own Son to pay a price that nobody could pay.  Jesus’s blood that was shed on the Cross says more about your worth as a human than anything, and all God wants is a relationship with you that will last unto all eternity.  Don’t believe the naysayers, and don’t believe the biggest naysayer of all, which is inside of you.  It’s true that we are our own worst critics; it doesn’t help when we entertain the negative things that others say to us or about us.  Banish all doubts, self-criticism, and criticism from your life and let God’s Word infuse your spirit.

#goodenough #dailyscripture #Musings4Life #knowGod

Man’s Failing Love vs. God’s Unfailing Love

“Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?” Proverbs 20:6

“Yet hope returns when I remember this one thing: The Lord’s unfailing love and mercy still continue, fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise. The Lord is all I have, so in him I have put my hope.” Lamentations 3:21-24 (GNT)

How do insecure attachment issues affect one’s relationship with God?

Understanding your own early attachment bonds may give you insight into why certain important relationships are not working. If you come from a family that was emotionally absent at best and abusive at worst, you will have trouble connecting with the relationships that you value the most, whether they be romantic, platonic, parental, filial or divine. In my own observations, I have seen people come from situations with neither parent being a solid pillar in their lives, but they cling to God so fervently, making Him their “Safe or Calm Place” that they managed not just to survive but actually thrive in life.  No matter who you are or what kind of background you have, God is with you and promises to never leave you.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” John 14:1

“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20

“For the king trusts in the Lord; through the unfailing love of the Most High he will not be shaken.”  Psalm 21:7

Next to our relationships with our parents, our relationship with our life partner is the most significant one on earth. If we did not get the right foundation in the beginning, it would be really unfair to expect a partner to fill a void that our parents were supposed to fill. Even good parents are not perfect, as you probably know a handful of people who came from seemingly good homes but still are “not really making it” in life.

The only real relationship that will last from earth to eternity is our relationship with God. God promises all throughout the Old and New Testaments that He will be with you, He will never leave you, and His unfailing love can be trusted. The evidence of God’s existence and love abounds, but we have to be willing to open our hearts, seek and see.

“The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.” (Acts 17:24-27)

God has determined the places where you’d be and the situations you’d be in, all for the purpose of hoping that you’d reach out for Him, though He is not far from you. You see, even God hopes that you will decide to choose Him too, because you have free will to believe what you want.

Many of us have experienced major disappointments, betrayals, broken hearts, and tragedies. Almost all of us want someone who will love us unconditionally with an undying, unwavering, unfailing love “till death do we part.” But when disappointments come, some react in ways that destroy the relationship permanently and we either are not aware of it or we don’t understand how we, or they, would behave that way.

In her book Getting Past Your Past, Dr. Francine Shapiro, a renown researcher and original developer of EMDR therapy, wrote:

If you were able to identify a Safe or Calm Place, then you already have a very useful technique to help get rid of a disturbance if it arises. It’s important to use it daily when you aren’t upset in order to make sure it stays powerful enough to work. (Shapiro, 2012, p. 106, emphasis added).

As Dr. Francine Shapiro said in her book, you have to find a Safe Place where you find strength and “use it daily” to reinforce your inner strength.  For me, it’s God and His Word. What will be your Safe Place?

#Godslove #unfailinglove #Godsword #dailyscripture #Musings4Life #emdr

References

Shapiro, F. (2012). Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy. New York, NY: Rodale Books.

People Person or People-Pleaser?

Being a people person is a wonderful trait. You like people and they like you. You are pleasant to be around and you seem to get along with everyone for the most part. However, for some, beneath that mask of “wonderful-ness” is someone who does not have a healthy self-image or esteem. What others say goes, and it’s their way all the time. When you eventually muster the courage to speak up, they ignore you or dismiss your opinion as though your voice doesn’t matter, so you sulk and shrink back in a corner.  Ask yourself: Are you afraid to speak up for fear of losing a friend or significant other?

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25

People-Pleasing Is a Trap!

In relationships, low self-esteem can be a real stumbling block because you throw yourself under the bus rather than having a healthy level of self-respect and respect for others. When others ask you for a favor, you readily comply, but then you’re too afraid to speak up to have your own needs met. Does this sound familiar at all to you?

“Every word of God is flawless; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.” Proverbs 30:5

Our emotions can vacillate according to how we feel we’re treated and how we feel about ourselves. Let’s say a friend recently had a difficult conversation with you. Their words have the potential of an anchor dragging your heart to the bottom of the ocean, but if you trust in God and what the Word says about you, you can evaluate the conversation more logically and have a level-headed approach. It’s not easy if the person is your significant other or a BFF, but taking refuge in God’s unfailing love gives you buoyancy to rest afloat an ocean of emotions. God’s Word gives you inner peace and stability as you work out the kinks of your relationships with others.

“For they loved praise from men more than praise from God.” John 12:43

Insecurity stems from wanting validation from people rather than God. When you care more about what people think of you, you speak and behave to make everyone happy instead of paying attention to your own worth or what God thinks about you. In situations that call for ethical decision-making, this fear of man plays a big role. Will you do the right thing and risk making some important people unhappy (e.g., your boss), or will you compromise righteousness for the sake of fitting in?

Being a people person means having a healthy level of self-respect and compassion for others. Being a people-pleaser will eventually burn you out and make you miserable and bitter. If you do finally stand up for yourself and they ignore you, belittle you, or dismiss your opinion, there is no point in fighting for a relationship or friendship that is not a two-way street. Learn when to keep and when to let go.

#GodsOpinionMatters #HealthySelfRespect #RespectOthers #Musings4Life #ThursdayThoughts #TrustGod

Why Is It So Hard to Believe?

Many non-believers have their reasons why they don’t believe in the Bible, but unbelief isn’t just a problem for non-Christians.  A lot of self-proclaimed Christians have a problem believing too, but most likely for different reasons.  Trauma is one of the biggest roadblocks to faith, and the struggle is real for those who want to believe but cannot wrap their minds around the fact that they are dearly loved by God.  According to The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, if a child’s first relationships with the most important figures in his life (i.e., his parents) have been unstable and abusive, the child will later have insecure attachment issues as he struggles with friendships, romance and authority figures.  Each year, approximately 691 per 100,000 children are treated in emergency departments; 74 per 100,000 are treated in a hospital, and 9 per 100,000 abuse cases result in death (Thurman, 2016).

With so many cases of childhood trauma happening every single day, is it any wonder that this world is suffering and unable to understand God’s love?   Parents who abuse their children were likely abused by their own parents, and the vicious cycle continues until someone decides to break the cycle and therefore break the chain in his or her own family.

“If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”  Romans 8:31

More than Conquerors – one of the most oft quoted subtitles and the least understood by those suffering from emotional and physical pain – how does this make you feel when you hear it or read it?  Do you feel “more than a conqueror” in God’s eyes?  Even if you don’t feel it, it does not mean that you are not.  But this is a cognitive assent (a.k.a. “positive thought”) that you must cling to in spite of your emotions.  This is way more than just a positive thought.  It’s actual truth, and it’s what God’s Word says about you.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

Believing the truth in the gospels and letting God’s promises sink deeply into your heart and mind are not an easy task, I know.  However, practice makes perfect.  We build ourselves up or tear ourselves down with our own thoughts.  Nothing in all creation can stop God from loving you; keep up the good fight of the faith or at least make the effort, because Jesus is God’s proof that you are worth it.

#PTSDAwareness #StopChildAbuse #SpreadGodsLove #GodIsForYou #Musings4Life #BreakTheChain #FightTheGoodFight #YouAreWorthIt

Journal Reference:

David J. Thurman, MD, MPH. The Epidemiology of Traumatic Brain Injury in Children and Youths: A Review of Research Since 1990. Journal of Child Neurology, 2016; 31 (1) 20-27

Can You Trust Your 5 Senses?

Appearance is deceiving.  Things are not always what they seem, yet we judge circumstances mostly by what we see or hear.  It’s funny how even Jesus himself didn’t judge by what he saw or decide by what he heard (Isaiah 11:3), and yet here we are, some of us trusting only by what we see with our own eyes, and basing our assumptions upon that.

In the past, I used to say that it was challenging for me to be connected with God because I could not see him, hear him, or feel him.  I felt my prayers were going up into the air, and sometimes I would hope in my heart that there really is a God out there who is hearing my prayers right now, at this moment, because I don’t want to feel like a fool, calling myself a Christian and yet not really believing what I supposedly stand and live for.  But the weird thing is, although my senses do not pick up on God’s presence, my spirit picks up on His existence, and there is no denying it.  There’s that thing called “the conscience,” and my sense of morality directs me toward God.

Now, I am discovering a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Appearance is deceiving.”  My senses are not entirely untrustworthy, because I know that I am typing on this laptop and I know what is directly in front of me and around me.  But I am also aware that I cannot entirely trust my senses, especially when thoughts and emotions are involved.  That’s where the tricky (or sticky) part comes in, because it’s so human nature to think certain things based on what we see (or hear), especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Emotions are real, but they do not necessarily reflect reality.  All religious beliefs aside, even psychological experts know that emotions are not entirely trustworthy.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

#TrustGod #ConnectWithGod #KnowGod #Musings4Life

Telescope of Faith

 Examples of faith:

By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark…

By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going…

Hebrews 11

 

Examples of doubt:

When they had heard that Jesus was alive and that she had seen him, they did not believe it.

Afterward Jesus appeared in a different form to two of them…These returned and reported it to the rest, but they did not believe them either.

Mark 16

How is it that our spiritual forefathers, before the time of Christ, had more faith than those who got to see God Incarnate and witness all the miracles He had done?  What was Jesus’ response to the disciples’ lack of faith?  “Later Jesus appeared to the Eleven as they were eating; he rebuked them for their lack of faith and their STUBBORN refusal to believe those who had seen him after he had risen” (Mark 16:14).  For some reason, it is easier to stubbornly hold onto doubt than belief.  The Eleven refused to believe until Jesus appeared to them in the flesh so they could see that the resurrection was real.  What would have happened if Jesus never appeared to them?  Would they have gone out and preached the Word boldly? Or would they have continued sulking in their living room feeling like fools because their savior was dead?  Where would you and I be if Jesus didn’t show himself to the Eleven after the resurrection?

In Hebrews it mentions righteousness that comes by faith.  First the faith, then the righteousness, which means that if we are only righteous because of what we have seen or because we are being humbled, then our “deeds” of righteousness will only last for a short while.  This sort of righteousness is not based on faith, nor is it really based on our love for God.  I am not saying that the love of God is entirely dismissed in this sort of faith, but anyone who relies on sight than on faith will struggle tremendously in their relationship with God because the temptations that come will have more power over us than if we had a true faith that sees heaven beyond this lifetime.

Every day we have a choice to see what we want to see.  God has amply supplied us with what we need, but not always what we want.  The doubters will always gripe about what is wrong with their lives: a significant other (or lack thereof), finances, themselves, work situations, etc.  There will always be something amiss and they are never content in any situation they are in. They always got to have a comment about everything, no matter how big or small.  The room is either too cold or too hot.  There isn’t enough time to do everything.  My life is in shambles because A, B and C happened.  Nobody loves me and I don’t understand why.  You get the picture.  God could come down from heaven if he wanted to and open our eyes to see what He’s got in store for us, but would we believe?  Do you use your deeds of righteousness as an exchange for something you want?  Or are you righteous because you have the telescope of faith that you are willing to die for, even if you don’t receive what you want in this lifetime?

#ChooseFaith #FaithIsAChoice #GetAVision #LiveOutYourFaith #KnowGod #NoDoubtingAllowed  #Musings4Life