“Yet hope returns when I remember this one thing: The Lord’s unfailing love and mercy still continue, fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise. The Lord is all I have, so in him I have put my hope.” Lamentations 3:21-24 (GNT)
How do insecure attachment issues affect one’s relationship with God?
Understanding your own early attachment bonds may give you insight into why certain important relationships are not working. If you come from a family that was emotionally absent at best and abusive at worst, you will have trouble connecting with the relationships that you value the most, whether they be romantic, platonic, parental, filial or divine. In my own observations, I have seen people come from situations with neither parent being a solid pillar in their lives, but they cling to God so fervently, making Him their “Safe or Calm Place” that they managed not just to survive but actually thrive in life. No matter who you are or what kind of background you have, God is with you and promises to never leave you.
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” John 14:1
“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20
“For the king trusts in the Lord; through the unfailing love of the Most High he will not be shaken.” Psalm 21:7
Next to our relationships with our parents, our relationship with our life partner is the most significant one on earth. If we did not get the right foundation in the beginning, it would be really unfair to expect a partner to fill a void that our parents were supposed to fill. Even good parents are not perfect, as you probably know a handful of people who came from seemingly good homes but still are “not really making it” in life.
The only real relationship that will last from earth to eternity is our relationship with God. God promises all throughout the Old and New Testaments that He will be with you, He will never leave you, and His unfailing love can be trusted. The evidence of God’s existence and love abounds, but we have to be willing to open our hearts, seek and see.
“The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.” (Acts 17:24-27)
God has determined the places where you’d be and the situations you’d be in, all for the purpose of hoping that you’d reach out for Him, though He is not far from you. You see, even God hopes that you will decide to choose Him too, because you have free will to believe what you want.
Many of us have experienced major disappointments, betrayals, broken hearts, and tragedies. Almost all of us want someone who will love us unconditionally with an undying, unwavering, unfailing love “till death do we part.” But when disappointments come, some react in ways that destroy the relationship permanently and we either are not aware of it or we don’t understand how we, or they, would behave that way.
In her book Getting Past Your Past, Dr. Francine Shapiro, a renown researcher and original developer of EMDR therapy, wrote:
If you were able to identify a Safe or Calm Place, then you already have a very useful technique to help get rid of a disturbance if it arises. It’s important to use it daily when you aren’t upset in order to make sure it stays powerful enough to work. (Shapiro, 2012, p. 106, emphasis added).
As Dr. Francine Shapiro said in her book, you have to find a Safe Place where you find strength and “use it daily” to reinforce your inner strength. For me, it’s God and His Word. What will be your Safe Place?
#Godslove #unfailinglove #Godsword #dailyscripture #Musings4Life #emdr
Shapiro, F. (2012). Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy. New York, NY: Rodale Books.