Being a people person is a wonderful trait. You like people and they like you. You are pleasant to be around and you seem to get along with everyone for the most part. However, for some, beneath that mask of “wonderful-ness” is someone who does not have a healthy self-image or esteem. What others say goes, and it’s their way all the time. When you eventually muster the courage to speak up, they ignore you or dismiss your opinion as though your voice doesn’t matter, so you sulk and shrink back in a corner. Ask yourself: Are you afraid to speak up for fear of losing a friend or significant other?
“Fear of man will prove to be a snare but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25
People-Pleasing Is a Trap!
In relationships, low self-esteem can be a real stumbling block because you throw yourself under the bus rather than having a healthy level of self-respect and respect for others. When others ask you for a favor, you readily comply, but then you’re too afraid to speak up to have your own needs met. Does this sound familiar at all to you?
“Every word of God is flawless; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.” Proverbs 30:5
Our emotions can vacillate according to how we feel we’re treated and how we feel about ourselves. Let’s say a friend recently had a difficult conversation with you. Their words have the potential of an anchor dragging your heart to the bottom of the ocean, but if you trust in God and what the Word says about you, you can evaluate the conversation more logically and have a level-headed approach. It’s not easy if the person is your significant other or a BFF, but taking refuge in God’s unfailing love gives you buoyancy to rest afloat an ocean of emotions. God’s Word gives you inner peace and stability as you work out the kinks of your relationships with others.
“For they loved praise from men more than praise from God.” John 12:43
Insecurity stems from wanting validation from people rather than God. When you care more about what people think of you, you speak and behave to make everyone happy instead of paying attention to your own worth or what God thinks about you. In situations that call for ethical decision-making, this fear of man plays a big role. Will you do the right thing and risk making some important people unhappy (e.g., your boss), or will you compromise righteousness for the sake of fitting in?
Being a people person means having a healthy level of self-respect and compassion for others. Being a people-pleaser will eventually burn you out and make you miserable and bitter. If you do finally stand up for yourself and they ignore you, belittle you, or dismiss your opinion, there is no point in fighting for a relationship or friendship that is not a two-way street. Learn when to keep and when to let go.
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