Tag Archives: compassion

Nothing Breaks You Like Being in Need

graceIf I had never been in need, I would never feel the compassion that I do now for others who are in need. As a young woman, I was very independent, self-sufficient and emotionally distant. I expected everyone to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps because that’s what I had to do for myself. With no one to guide me since childhood, I’ve learned to navigate through life trying to survive the hell hole in which I grew up. In the back of my mind, though, I knew that if I fall or if anything happened to me, I had no family members who would offer support. I have nothing to fall back on, so I HAVE to be strong.

This produced an arrogance in me that isolated me from others. It wasn’t the type that made me feel like I was better than other people. In my pride I was so self-deceived that I did not see my need for help so I never asked for it, because deep down I did not believe that anyone would want to help me if I was not their family member. This was the type of arrogance that sucked any compassion that could have resided in my heart, because I viewed others as “lazy” and “needy” if they asked for help. Therefore, when my turn came to be in need, I also viewed myself in the same way: needy, lazy and useless.

Anyone who knows me knows I am a hard worker and through the years I learned that when life deals you a bad hand, it doesn’t matter who you are — you have to humble out and reach out!  “No man is an island,” as the English poet John Donne once said. We exist in community, not in isolation. There are those who are naturally compassionate and nurturing, but for people like myself, we have to be broken twice — or multiple times — to get in touch with our sensitive side.

God calls us to be humble toward one another, to clothe ourselves with humility and compassion (Colossians 3:12).

“But those who suffer [God] delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction.” Job 36:15

Without suffering, there’d be no compassion. Suffering does not always produce compassion; in fact it can produce quite the opposite — bitterness — and in my case there was lots of it!  When you stick with God, however, and allow Him to work on your heart through times of affliction, only He can uproot that bitterness and turn you into someone better.

You can probably help someone in need if you have the means and resources, but if you’ve never been in their shoes, an element of humanity might be missing. When we allow ourselves to feel our need for help (i.e., admit feelings of loneliness, shame, guilt, financial straits, etc.), we will appreciate the assistance a lot differently when we do receive it. In turn we’ll be able to help others more effectively because this time, we’d be seeing them with different eyes.

#compassion #LoveLikeJesus #humility #dontbetooproud #prideisolates #nomanisanisland #musingz4life

Even If Your Mother Forgets, God Will Never Forget You

breastfeeding“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?  Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” Isaiah 49:15

I am not a parent, and my relationships with my parents are at best, distant, and at worst, abusive. Still, if you have ever been in love, imagine that feeling and multiply that by infinity, and that is God’s love for you.

Trying to understand God’s love when you have never received it in its appropriate form from your parents is an excruciating ordeal. I’m not saying that dysfunctional parents are incapable of love; however, because they are broken themselves, they do not have the tools to love their children appropriately.

If things worked out between you and your first love, I am happy for you. If they did not, remember only your own feelings for the other person. They were always on your mind, day and night, and spending the rest of your life with them would have been a dream! Complete acceptance for who you are — the good, the bad and the ugly — makes you feel utterly desired and safe. Mutual acceptance and vulnerability breed trust, and trust creates a safe space wherein you can make mistakes and be forgiven because you KNOW you are loved.

With God, you can be open with Him anytime, anywhere. The best thing is that He won’t judge you for what you’ve done because that’s what Jesus died for. The challenge for many is that He’s invisible; you can’t tell what He’s thinking or feeling, but you have the Bible, which is full of God’s promises and saturated with declarations of His love for you.

If you open your heart when you read the scriptures, you will see that it is SAFE to trust in God. He’s got your back and He always promises to NOT disappoint.

“Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” ~ Isaiah 49:23

“Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.”  ~ Isaiah 43:4

My point is this: if you are like me, someone who is out of touch emotionally for the most part, you can still reach deep inside your heart somewhere and remember a time when you loved someone, like truly loved someone. Then you can begin to understand the depth and height of God’s love for you:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

~ Romans 8:38-39

When relationships don’t work out, it’s because of someone’s (or both parties’) unhealed wounds. But God is PERFECT, and His love for you is unending, unlike human love, even a mother’s love.

#Godsloveisperfect #NothingLikeGodsLove #Christ #NoCondemnation #unfailinglove #safelove #love #relationships #broken #soul #heart #musingz4life #acceptance #trust